I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
