There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
