I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
