She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
