Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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