Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
whose parrot is this?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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