I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
