If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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