dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
