I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
my liver is dry heaving
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
