my mouth tastes like poor choices
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize