Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
