Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
