wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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