don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
