I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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