I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize