There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
