I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
