I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
