my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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