I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
