I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
