genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
