guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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