So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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