Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
