God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The air was thick with penises
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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