Its about making memories worth repressing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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