Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
