I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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