id be glad to
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
