I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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