Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
