She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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