she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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