in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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