Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
