Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
