I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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