At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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