whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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