is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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