he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my shit smells like andre
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
