i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
