I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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