I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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