yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
