My liver just broke up with me...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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