Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
