We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
