My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
