No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
