He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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