Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
