you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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