he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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